i feel like stucking a knife into my head

or better still, stucking a knife right into my chest.

i wish i had a gun

i could easily just blow my brain into pieces

or just shatter my stupid heart into a million bits.

why do i feel so powerless?

why am i so envious?

jealousy is the darkest, deepest pit

why do i always see myself falling into it,

pull myself out, but fall back in again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

well its that time of the year again.

i wish that day would go by without me noticing.

its just a day which i cant forget even if i want to forget it.

some day!

~sigh~